Honor Lost Read online

  FROM THE FELLKIN EDITION OF FAMOUS INORGANIC POETS, VOLUME 1

  The pressure suit that’s really candy,

  Above all others is the unsuit.

  Does the unsuit make you shiver?

  does it?

  Why would you think the Leviathan is angry?

  the spacecraft is the most graceful craft of all.

  Does the great ship make you shiver?

  does it?

  When I think of the robot, I see a fortress.

  Down, down, down into the darkness of the robot,

  Gently it goes—the muddled, the muzzy, the hirsute.

  emitu

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Lost Touch

  I HAD NERVES. The kind that came before a run in the Zone, the ones that made me shiver inside. This carried a high risk of death, but the game was the game, and I’d learned to play it young. This time I was playing against Derry, not with him. If I let myself be scared, I’d be done. So I had to keep it in the lane, because Derry was damned sure not scared, and I had to meet him on equal ground.

  This wouldn’t go down easy, however Jury came down. Derry wasn’t an Honor. He wasn’t in this for the trip, or the experience, or anything else. He was just here to do his master’s bidding and go home to grab more chem, more money, more power.

  When the Hopper touched down inside the Leviathan’s docking bay, I knew what I had to do.

  “Are you afraid, Honor Cole?” Jury asked me suddenly, and I just about jumped out of my skin. He’d been so silent on the trip that I’d almost forgotten he could talk. I preferred the silence right now too.

  “Nope,” I said, and stood up. Touched my toes and limbered up. Stretched tense muscles. “Chao-Xing?”

  “If they’ll allow me entry, I’ll come with you,” she said. “If they won’t, I’ll be right here, ready to get us the hell out.”

  “Okay.” I took a deep breath; she was watching me, waiting for a sign. I nodded.

  Chao-Xing hit the comms. “Where do we proceed?”

  Derry’s voice came right back. He sounded tense. I thought he also sounded high. “Leave your weapons. All of them.”

  “Sure,” I said, because I knew C-X was about to argue. “By the way, brought your robot back. He seemed expensive.”

  Derry didn’t like that. “Robot. Mission report.”

  Jury said, “Mission is terminated. I have Zara Cole in my custody.”

  “Mission terminated?” Derry, I remembered, was no kind of tech genius; he could barely fix a broken chip, much less reprogram a bot as complicated as Jury. Derry didn’t know anything about how the murderbot worked; he just pushed the buttons. He shifted gears quick, though. “I’m scanning for any dangerous items. It’d be like you to put a bomb in that thing, Z.”

  “Go ahead.” I shrugged. “I’m playing it straight.”

  He laughed. “Sure you are. You forget, I know you.”

  “You used to know me,” I agreed. “But I’m not that person anymore.”

  He just shook his head. Same old Derry. I’d been the one who scrounged up our needs, who found our food and liquor and chem and shelter. Derry had—although I hadn’t realized it then—been dependent on me, but also tricked me into thinking that he was in charge. The fact I could see it meant he couldn’t use it now.

  “Hold still. If there’s a bomb, it’s going to blow right in your face,” he said. I felt a tingle, but nothing else happened. Derry’s face did a peculiar little twist, and I remembered that too. Disappointment. He really did want me dead. I wondered if that was toxic jealousy or self-preservation. His life was likely on the line if he didn’t deliver my head.

  “You recording this for Deluca?” I asked him casually and saw the flinch. It wasn’t much, but it was there. “Boy, you better look where you’re standing. That man doesn’t need you once this is done. How do you think that ends?”

  “Don’t know,” Derry said, and flashed me that smile that used to make me melt. It left me cold now. “You know me, Z. I’ll find a way out. Always do.”

  Boys like him always thought that. They just kept jumping from one thing to the next, and sooner or later, they’d jump, and it’d be a cliff. “Are we doing this or what? ’Cause if you’re just going to chat, I can go.”

  His smile faded. He hit some controls. “Come on if you’re coming, Zara. Robot. Bring her to me.”

  Jury laid a metal hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him, which was dumb; wasn’t like his face would tell me anything. He didn’t speak. He just moved me to the door, which Chao-Xing opened.

  “He didn’t say I had to stay,” she said, “so I’m coming.”

  As I stepped out, an alarm rang, and red flashed through the docking bay walls. I sighed and dug the hidden gun out of the back of my pants and dropped it into the Hopper. The walls kept flashing. I retrieved the knife, and as it disappeared into the craft, the flashing stopped, and the alarm went still.

  Chao-Xing, watching this, disarmed before getting out. She’d brought plenty. It took a while, but when she dropped down next to me and Jury, no alarms went off.

  Chao-Xing pulled her H2, and her fingers flew over it in a fluid dance. The Hopper door slid closed. “I set it to unlock for our biosigns only,” she said. “No point in giving him a way into our ships. Not that Typhon wouldn’t blow him out of space for even trying, of course.”

  Jury didn’t speak. He just urged me on. And yeah, it felt like I was walking the last mile to my execution, just like in the holos. I occupied myself by examining the differences between this Leviathan and Nadim; this one had different internal routing, which I noted. Every Leviathan was configured according to their own experiences with their crews; this one seemed to like wider hallways and random corridors. Almost like a maze. I made sure to note the turns we took. I was pretty sure this Leviathan wouldn’t be helpfully lighting any paths for me, should I get to come back this way. I had to take long strides to keep pace with Jury, who retained his hold on me, though it didn’t hurt. It probably looked impressive, though. Chao-Xing brought up the rear.

  We passed through a massive vaulted chamber, utterly unlike anything we had on Nadim, and I craned my head way up to marvel at the view. Transparent arcing panels showed the stars beyond. It was like a church, but without any religious elements. There was, however, furniture. It consisted of a bunch of tall branching trees made of crystal. I wondered what kind of crew this Leviathan had carried prior to Derry. Something I’d never met, I guessed, but I liked their aesthetic.

  Gravity was a little lower than I was used to, and it made me feel stronger, but it also threw off my reactions a bit. I’d have to watch that.

  We came out of the room I mentally labeled the church into a human-refitted control room, same equipment as we had on board Nadim, only a slightly modified and upgraded system. No transparent walls this time. It felt like a trap.

  And there was Derry McKinnon. “Hello, Zara,” he said.

  I remembered the good-bye he’d given me to get on the train for the Honors program; he’d been high then too. And more about himself than me, just like he always had been. I never thought I’d feel this way, but seeing Derry in that uniform made me righteously angry. He didn’t deserve it. I didn’t sense anything from his Leviathan, and for the first time I wondered why a Leviathan would agree to this deal. What was it getting out of it? Certainly not the pleasure of Derry’s company.

  The Leviathan didn’t feel present at all. It was a very strange and unsettling lack; maybe Derry didn’t notice because he’d never really felt a Leviathan’s warmth and life. But it felt . . . not dead, exactly. Withdrawn.

  I tentatively reached out, and found a thick, impenetrable wall between the consciousness of the ship and anyone on board. It—no, I sensed something that told me this ship identified as she—was back there; I could feel it by pressing against that invisible wall, but she was completely walled off.

  I couldn’t imagine what could cause a Leviathan to be that much of a ho
stage inside their own body. Did she do this on her own? Or did Derry hurt her enough to cause this? If that was the case, I wanted blood.

  “You’re right, by the way,” Derry said. “Deluca’s getting all this on a VR recording. He’ll be able to watch it just like he’s here.”

  “Great,” I said. “Where’s his point of view?”

  Derry pointed. I aimed an upraised middle finger in that direction.

  “Wow,” Derry said. “Read the room, Zara.”

  “Oh, I am,” I said. More than he knew. I made damn sure the Leviathan knew I was here, and that if she was in trouble, I could help. She had to understand that we were allies for her if she needed them. “Kind of bored with your version of the story, though. If you’re going to kill me, move it the hell along.”

  “Okay,” Derry said. “I’m kind of disappointed, though. The old Zara wouldn’t have gone down without a fight. Guess all this civilization took it right out of you.”

  He clearly hadn’t been keeping up on current events. His loss. I didn’t point it out. I just clasped my hands behind my back and took on an at-attention stance.

  He was waiting for me to move. I didn’t. Finally, he looked at Jury. “Kill her. Make it quick.” He sent me a look. “See? Still got some feelings for you.”

  Jury said, “I have reviewed all available recordings and evidence, and it is my decision that Zara Cole is guilty of several crimes.”

  Oh shit.

  “I restricted myself to the time period between her last official sentencing to the Camp Kuna Rehabilitation Facility and today,” Jury continued. “Whatever crimes she committed prior to her last sentence are now immaterial.”

  Well, that ruled out my jacking of the Deluca girl’s purse and being complicit in the killing of Deluca’s man who’d come to get it back. That was something.

  “Since that time, Zara Cole is judged guilty of the following crimes: assault of a sentient being in the docking bay of the Leviathan Nadim, with mitigating circumstances of self-defense; unlawful killing of a sentient being on the Sliver, designation Mandy, of the Elaszi, with mitigating circumstances of self-defense; kidnapping of a mixed work crew from the Sliver, with mitigating circumstances of self-defense.”

  I waited for him to continue, but he didn’t. Was that all? Because that wasn’t so bad.

  “I don’t give a shit,” Derry said impatiently. “Carry out her sentence.”

  “Very well,” Jury said. “Sentence for the crime of assault of a sentient being: advanced interspecies cultural education, ruled complete. Unlawful killing of a sentient being: self-defense judged sufficient for vacating the sentence. Kidnapping of a mixed work crew: risk of death for this crew was high, resulting in the kidnapping serving as a lesser offense than the ultimate death of said crew, which indicates a suspended sentence is in order.”

  “That’s it?” Derry seemed astonished. “Look, whatever, just kill her. That’s your function.”

  “It is not,” Jury said. “I am the law. The law judges crimes brought before it. I have judged that Zara Cole is not guilty of any crime punishable by death. Derry McKinnon, however, is guilty of the following offenses: criminal manipulation of the Honors administration to produce false charges against Honor Zara Cole and Honor Beatriz Teixeira. Occupation, against her will, of the Leviathan Ophelia, by force and threats of force. Implantation of an illegal shock device within the organs of Leviathan Ophelia, without her consent. Illegal operation of a Leviathan under false pretenses. Illegal production and consumption of banned chemicals. Attempted murder of Honor Zara Cole. Attempted murder of—”

  “Screw this,” Derry said, and drew the weapon I’d spotted beneath his uniform jacket. I didn’t recognize the piece, but I figured it had to be something that could destroy Jury in a hot second or he wouldn’t try it.

  I dove.

  He saw me coming, but he wasn’t fast enough; the chem shaved just enough reaction time off to let me grab his arm and force it up as his finger touched the trigger, and instead of hitting Jury it hit the wall above Jury’s head.

  The shot tore through the Leviathan’s sensitive skin.

  Ophelia screamed. It was so loud it was like a riot suppression device; I gritted my teeth and struggled with Derry for the weapon. He had more upper body strength, and if all things were equal, he’d have thrown me off.

  All things were not equal, because Chao-Xing was there to stab stiff fingers under his arm. It was an agonizing blow; I knew because she’d done it to me in our last combat grappling sim. I’d been on the floor for a full minute before I could make it up.

  It didn’t put Derry down. The chem made him a touch slower, but it also blunted pain, and though he clearly felt it, he didn’t go down. He staggered, and his gaze swept over to lock on mine.

  It was like being drowned, all the feelings boiling through that look blasting at me full force. Love. Hate. Pain. Desperation.

  He didn’t like this. He’d put on his armor to do it, but fact was, he didn’t want to kill me. One thing about Derry, though, and I’d always known this: if it came down to me or him, he’d pick himself.

  Fair enough.

  “Surrender,” I said to him. “Derry, just give up. Jury can take you back for sentencing. You can turn it around. You can make Deluca pay. All you have to do is stand up for it.”

  “Like you stood up?” He grinned at me, and it was the grin that told me the cause was lost. “No.”

  I expected him to come for me.

  What he did, though, was turn and run.

  “Jury!” I snapped. “He’s got an illegal shock weapon he can activate. Can it kill this Leviathan?”

  “It can,” he said.

  “What’s your sentence for his crimes?”

  “Death,” Jury said. “But I am unable to execute said decision until he is disarmed, and the Leviathan is secure. Also, the unit in his possession carries malicious code that will wipe my memory and disable me. I do not wish to cease to be, Zara Cole.”

  “On it,” I said. “As a thanks-for-not-killing-me present.”

  Chao-Xing raised her voice. “Ophelia. Tell us where he is.”

  The ship didn’t reply. I suspected she couldn’t because there was damage already, or because she’d never fully interfaced with the human systems that had been installed.

  But what she did was light up a wall in a zip of white light.

  We ran in pursuit.

  When Chao-Xing pulled ahead and veered off, I didn’t know what she meant to do until she shouted, “Ophelia, do you have weapons for us?”

  Ophelia did. She lit up a curving side passage, and we veered that way. It looped completely into a spiral, and at the end a strangely organic door contracted backward in another spiral.

  Beyond was Candyland for killers. A lot of it was slick, new Earth tech, better than I’d ever seen in the Zone. I avoided that; even if it was more powerful, it’d cost me precious time to figure out. I grabbed a rifle, same as we had aboard Nadim; Chao-Xing took a pouch of stunning light grenades and a hand weapon. On impulse, I grabbed something that was not our tech, but I recognized the net gun of Bruqvisz design. I wondered where Derry had found it, and what damage he’d done to get it. Not a question I could answer, and Ophelia couldn’t tell me.

  We went hunting.

  With Ophelia on our side, it wasn’t going to be difficult . . . or at least, that’s what I thought until I felt a sudden, biting shock go through me, feet to crown. C-X and I were insulated, both by our boots and by our lack of direct interface with Ophelia, but we felt the horror, hurt, and pain boil over even so.

  He’d just hurt her. Badly. He put a shock collar on a Leviathan. Oh, hell no, he wasn’t getting away with this. It was about more than survival now. We had to get him out of here so Ophelia could be free. That was more important than my need for revenge.

  “Ophelia,” I said, “can you trap him for us? Seal him into a specific section, maybe?” Because right now, Derry had a significant advantage: he k
new this ship, and we didn’t. “Uh, flash us twice for yes.”

  Two flashes.

  “Is he going to hurt you if you do?” Chao-Xing asked before I could. “Wait, sorry, that’s a bad question, of course he will. Can you endure it if it means we get to him?”

  A hesitation. Then two flashes. Then two more. I guess she meant yes to both things. We exchanged a look. C-X looked grim. Neither of us liked it, but I nodded, and she said, “Seal him off and lead us there.”

  Ophelia flashed twice. Yes. And after an agonizingly long pause, a light streaked along her wall.

  We ran fast as we could to follow it. We were aware that as soon as Derry discovered he was trapped, he’d hurt her again, maybe worse this time. That wasn’t acceptable.

  The light led us through a twisting maze of tunnels, through the church again, and in a direction I thought was close to the docking bay.

  We came around a corner and nearly slammed face-first into a closed door. We both braked hard, and I put a hand on the flesh-warm wall. “We’re here,” I told Ophelia. “Is he right on the other side?”

  Yes, her lights flashed. Chao-Xing and I took up positions on either side of the hallway, facing each other, and I slid down to a crouch.

  “Open it,” Chao-Xing said, and aimed about where Derry would be standing, if he was stupid.

  I aimed where I knew he’d be if he wasn’t.

  He wasn’t either place. He’d retreated and crouched, and he was fumbling with something in his pocket instead of being ready to return fire. As Chao-Xing and I both focused our aim on him, he pulled the device out of his pocket and held it up. His hand was shaking. He aimed the pistol in his free hand first at me, then at C-X.

  “Easy,” he said. “Guns down. This thing’s dialed up to lethal now. You want to kill Ophelia, I can do it with just one quick press.” I knew Derry well enough to recognize a bluff when I saw it, and this wasn’t one. He meant it. Of course, killing his Leviathan trapped us all in here, unable to escape with the docking bay shut. But I suspected he had an out. Maybe he’d installed a bomb to blow her docking bay open. Couldn’t know for sure.